here and now

 My uncle died today, he had been bed ridden for years and cares helping him do what he had to do, he had no quality of life to speak of and probably would have preferred to go with dignity if the option was open to him and not linger for years in bed, he was not in pain but I don't think that is the point its about what is humane really.  Just waiting for the life to drain out of someone is not what life should be about there is no dignity in that.

I guess all these people passing away recently has shown again that all we have is today really that life is the present the past has gone the future is well in the future 

it has been bleak for months due to the weather but today has been a fairly sprint day and there seems to be a bit of weight lifted off I reckon. lets hope we get few days there were  a few out while I was out walking this evvening its probably the first time in while when I have seen so many out

Its still raining here it has been raining since last May really except for a few days, its been grim, we are approaching a year or rain its quite dreadful really it never use to be like this I am not sure what is going on to be honest, today was one of those all dayer really its been going on all day and got gradually worse.  There was a funeral today another in the long line of funerals that gone on recently sadly, the one today was of a fairly young man which is even sadder than usual 

While burying my uncle I began to think of the funerals I had been to in that cemetry namely my mothers and how my uncle helped me lower down the coffin into the hole it feels like another life time away really well I guess it is.  My mother had cancer which sparead through her body, she was only 51, but it was the morphine she got for the pain that killed in the end, they tried to give my uncle morphone a few years ago but he servived they did not give him enough obviously 

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